when healing becomes a trap

As I celebrate another revolution around the Sol, I find myself reflecting on the journey that has brought me to this point in time. A journey of Beautiful, messy healing, wild transformation/s, and exhaustion that can't be comprehended; not easily anyway.

I didn’t enter this recent healing journey feeling strong. I entered it tired. So very tired. For  the previous years, about 6 or 7, I had become a shell of myself, moving through some of the most emotionally, challenging experiences of my life. My connection to spirit had faded, which was terrorizing, as I wasn't expecting that to happen. So when it returned to me, also very unexpectedly, I was deeply grateful and amazed—but also painfully aware that I had a long road ahead of me.
Why else would it show up when it did, the 'way' it did?

Like so many seekers on a spiritual path, I was taught that deep healing requires deep introspection. That we must dive into the hidden corners of our psyche, confront our wounds, and clear our distortions before we can truly evolve. And so, I did the work. I sat in the discomfort. I faced my shadows. I processed. And processed. And processed.

And then, I started to notice something: the process itself was becoming the trap. Solely focusing on transmuting my distortions not only held me in a space of "working" on myself, the lesser parts of myself, but it was also creating MORE of the situations and circumstances I was working so hard to alleviate. This is how manifestation works after all...pinpointing our focused energy into or onto something. Our ability to create is NOT to be underestimated, ever!

One of the biggest dangers in the world of spiritual healing modalities, MOST of them in fact, is the belief that we must fix everything before we can experience true Divinity; That we must clear every block, transmute every wound, and purge every negative pattern before we are worthy of peace, joy, or connection with our Divinity. The more I explored, the more I saw how many spiritual schools and modalities subtly reinforce this idea. The endless cycles of processing, purging, and searching keep us focused on what is broken rather than what is already whole and untainted.
And yet, Divinity is here. Now. It always has been.

What happens when we shift our focus, then,  from fixing ourselves to actually experiencing Divinity?

I’ve found the more I surround myself with studies, teachings and conversations that emphasize the beauty of Divinity—rather than the weight of dysfunction—the lighter I feel. My healing started to accelerate. Connection with my InnerMost BeLoved, strengthened. I evolve not by endlessly dissecting my pain, but by embracing the Light that is already within, and really, I can't get away from.

Of course, this isn’t about ignoring our wounds. There is a time and place for introspection, for facing the darkness. But darkness is a teacher, not a destination. We were never meant to live there; And yet, so many teachings keep people trapped in that mindset. I don't believe the teachings themselves are flawed or absent of Divinity, my growing concern, is how these teachings are relayed. Teachings and practices that can unintentionally create a trap for an individual, especially if they are compromised, which is usually the case. It's important to note that any figure who carries any kind of guidance or authority when speaking to another about Spiritual healing, needs to be encouraging that person TOO, to spend much of their time building a solid relationship with their Divine being, their own divine essence, vs. speaking continuously of the distortions that need to be transmuted, transformed, eliminated, with the complete destruction of some aspect before they can move forward.

If anyone tells another that healing takes years, or worse, Lifetimes, Move with Caution!, or better yet, move away from those studies or teachers, as there are others that will speak to you about the true power of your healing abilities. NO ONE can dictate the timeline in the healing of your soul. No one can tell you how long it will take to awaken, to shift, to heal. The idea that healing is an endless, laborious process can be just as damaging as avoiding healing altogether, and dangerous. To say this in a frank manner, if someone can't teach Divinity, they clearly don't know it.

So, I pose this question to you:

On your Spiritual journey, who will you choose to be your teacher/s?
Your ego, which tells you that you are broken and must endlessly process before you can be whole?
Or your innermost Divine Essence, which encourages one to know that wholeness is already here, waiting for you to recognize it and co-create with it?

In closing this piece, if we were to ask ourselves 'What it is we truly seek?', when we first enter upon "The Path", it would be seeking Divinity isn't it? Divinity is the answer to that, however you define it for yourself.
We don't need to repeatedly study our darkness ... many have been doing this, thousands of people, and it shows. We are more masterful over our darkness, than our own Divinity. How is that possible? It's time to answer that question.

If we are seeking our true Divine nature, then we should be cultivating this more.
Living it more
Breathing it more!

So let us choose wisely. Let us choose 'differently' ... besides, it's something we haven't tried yet.

*Personal testimony is much welcomed here. If you've got an experience that aligns with this piece of writing, please share it, even if anonymous. You never know where your words will land on someone's heart.